Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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