The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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