I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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