dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
2020 sucks, I want a refund
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
