would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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