this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
