I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
