Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
