I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
