you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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