The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
