were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize