Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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