from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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