Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
