sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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