I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
