she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
