Im at strip club and am horny
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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