there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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