I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
