we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
