pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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