i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
