Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
