I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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