Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
