This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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