i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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