I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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