There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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