There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
