i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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