watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
