I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
