Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
