I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
jump out the window naked night went bad
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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