Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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