Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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