i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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