Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
