So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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