thus making me awesome and them whores
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i believe in u and ur pee
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
