How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
