Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
