A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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