It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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