conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
