i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
