I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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