I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want nice things and good sex
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
