No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
