hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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