I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
