Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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