you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
