So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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