My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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