I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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