it wasn't lemon gatorade
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
