atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
